DAA Nightspots Column: The Death of the House Clarkson Built

30 03 2010

A new feature on DAA, the digital version (sometimes expanded) of my Nightspots bi-weekly column. -Moose

As a budding gay music writer, there’s instinctually cliché’s you need to avoid writing about: Lady Gaga in general (though I can’t help but love her), Kristine W on at gay event, or American Idol.  Well children, I can’t stay silent any longer while my beloved Idol falls. Not that I can help it.

I watch Idol like some of you (well not most of you) watch football. There’s spreadsheets, chatrooms, and fantasy teams involved, though most of my fantasies involve Daughtry on Kris Allen.  I was even at the taping when Kelly Clarkson won first season AND made a framed box of my autographs from the red carpet. Its sick.

I’ve seen Idol go through some rough times, especially second season, but this season is a mess. I don’t blame Ellen. I’m in the minority that thinks she contributes a certain performer expertise, and makes up for the lack of comic relief left by Paula’s absence. And Kara’s not that bad. She can actually sing, write and looks great in a bikini. The issue this season is with the guys on the panel. Randy still has only 10 words in his 8-bit vocabulary and Simon is phoning it in to run out his contract and run this show into the ground so X factor (his show starting next year) seems brilliant.

In the end though, the biggest issue is the talent. I’d say overall the judges are to blame. They picked these half-talented hacks over great throw aways like Jay Stone who unfortunately lead with beat-boxing over his strong voice, in favor of cuties like Tim and Katie. Now between, the Alex and his one good performance, David Archuletta II, Big Mike: The Idol cliche machine and the highly overhyped (but you’re drinking her herbed Kool-Aid) Bowersox, we’ve got just a few that might squeak by.

  • Casey and Lee. Both strong singers. Both pretty doable. Both can play guitar, but neither have chosen anything interesting to sing yet.
  • Didi is slowly becoming a favorite but needs to turn up the charm.
  • and finally, Siobhan, who I’m loving simply for her home-schooled awkwardness. I think there’s a big cool freak waiting to come out, if she’s lay off the oldies one week.

So, we’ve had bad seasons but this season stands out as a perfect shitstorm: bad song choice, mediocre talent, and most of all the judges (Simon) purposely sabotaging their own show with blah choices and little enthusiasm. This may be the season that either kills the show or makes it the lost season with no superstars. It happened to Project Runway!

As for me and my love for Idol, I’ll limp along. I mean, we all still watch the Cubs play? But my heart won’t be in it. Viva la X-Factor.

My out-the-box favorite:

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